We have experienced the happiest of weddings. Those that we find most memorable are the ones where the bride and the groom and both sets of parents are involved in the planning. Every bride and groom ask us "How can we make our wedding different? What can we do to make it memorable rather than just like everyone else's wedding?" we always have the same answer for every bride and groom: "Personalize it! Don't worry about trying to outdo someone else or trying to make it different!"

Here are some tips that I have experienced in planning more than nine hundred weddings. Along with these ideas, we have included the names of some of the vendors that made them happen.

The Wedding Gown

1. Many brides really do want to wear their mother's gown. The reality is that not only are gowns sometimes not wearable, i.e. time and improper storage has caused the fabric to be damaged or discolored but the shape of women has changed from previous generations. In years past women were more involved with manual labor and chores. Because of that the shape of the body was different. That's not to say that the modern woman has grown soft and flabby. Quite the opposite. Women of the current generation exercise more deliberately and tend to have better body tone and shape. So, the gown of a previous generation simply often does not fit the modern bride. That's not to say that the mother's gown cannot be put to good use. Don't let it continue to sit in the box and deteriorate. As awful as it sounds: cut up that gown! Make a ring bearer pillow, a flower girl dress, use the fabric and lace in the bridal bouquet and boutonneire. If there is an abundance of fabric, create a beautiful overlay for the bridal table. Or use pieces woven in and around the floral arrangements, bows for the bride's and groom's chairs. The possibilities are endless.

2. One particularly wonderful idea I had for one of three daughters' weddings that I did in Texas was that we had a seamstress create the flower girl's dress in the same design as the expensive designer gown that the bride wore.

3. Be attentive to the ceremonial area. A bride of mine was to have her ceremony on a beautiful winding stairway in a gorgeous Atherton, California home. Above the stairwell was a skylight with wonderful stained glass of lavendor, pink and green irises. I suggested: "Why not design the attendants' gowns and the bouquets and other decorations to reflect the colors in that skylight?" The bride loved the idea, and we did just that We kept it a secret and were curious if anyone would notice. Sure enough, when the bride and groom returned from the honeymoon, she called to tell me how lovely things were and that she was ecstatic to walk through the reception and overhear a guest comment to another: "Wasn't it beautiful how the dresses and flowers matched the skylight? I wonder if they did that deliberately?" I can assure you, all my brides and I are deliberate, and very conspiratorial! The bride told me, "You know Robbi, little things mean a lot. I figured that you and I would be the only people that noticed that tiny detail!"